When love and violence meet

Gender based violence (GBV) is a pervasive issue in our society. It is a form of violence that is directed towards an individual based on their gender or sex, and it can take many different forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, and economic abuse. Sadly, GBV can occur in any type of relationship, including those where love exists.

You made me do it

Abusers might use phrases like “I love you, that’s why I’m doing this” or “You made me do this because you don’t love me enough” to justify their actions.

It is important to recognize that this is not love. True love involves mutual respect, trust, and support, not violence and abuse. In fact, violence and abuse are antithetical to love. Love should never be used to excuse or justify abusive behavior, and it is never acceptable to harm someone else in the name of love.

Sadly, GBV can often be hidden within relationships, making it difficult for victims to come forward and seek help. This is especially true when the victim is emotionally attached to their abuser. The abuser might use love as a tool to manipulate the victim and make them feel guilty or responsible for the abuse they are experiencing. Victims might also feel ashamed or embarrassed to speak up about the abuse because they believe that it reflects poorly on their relationship or themselves.

Healthy Relationships

It is essential to understand that GBV is not a private matter. It is a social issue that affects everyone, and it requires a collective response. To create a society that is free from all forms of violence and abuse, we need to work together to raise awareness about GBV, provide support and resources to victims, and hold perpetrators accountable for their actions.

One way to address GBV is by promoting healthy relationships that are built on respect, trust, and open communication. This means teaching young people about healthy relationships and providing them with the skills and knowledge they need to build positive connections with others. We can also work to challenge harmful gender stereotypes and social norms that perpetuate violence and inequality.

Finding help and speaking out

Another important way to address GBV is by providing support and resources to victims. This includes providing access to safe spaces, counseling, legal services, and other forms of support that can help victims rebuild their lives and heal from the trauma of abuse.

You can find some helpful links here https://toniwashere.com/helplines-gbv/

It is also important to hold perpetrators accountable for their actions. This means ensuring that they are held responsible for the harm they have caused and that they receive appropriate punishment. It also means addressing the root causes of GBV, such as gender inequality, and working towards creating a society that is more equitable and just for all.

While perpetrators are typically vilified, there is hope for change and rehabilitation, check out this Ted Talk by Jackson Katz where he talks about perpetrators, and how men can help fight for the cause: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8

Love should not hurt

In conclusion, GBV and love are two very different concepts that should not be conflated. Love should never be used to excuse or justify abusive behavior, and it is never acceptable to harm someone else in the name of love. To create a society that is free from all forms of violence and abuse, we need to work together to raise awareness about GBV, promote healthy relationships, provide support to victims, and hold perpetrators accountable for their actions. We all have a role to play in ending GBV, and by working together, we can create a safer, more just, and more equitable world for all.